Siblings of very Ill Children

Seeing a brother or sister hooked up to machines and IVs can be quite scary for a child or teen. Siblings may experience anxiety and high stress levels because of the change in their parent’s roles (when the doctor becomes their brother or sister’s primary care taker, instead of mom and dad) and fear for their brother or sister. Children often worry about their sibling’s health, and are afraid about their own health and safety. Kids may feel detached from the sick child, guilty, and alone. They may think that they are not important to the family. Older children sometimes feel the need to assume more responsibilities. Some siblings of sick children may become depressed, and may feel resentment towards the sick sibling. However, the experience of having a brother or sister in the PICU can be an opportunity for growth for these children, too. Kids can get better at dealing with stressful situations as well as work on making friendships and relationships with both peers and adults. The emotional impact of having a sibling in the hospital, like many other aspects of staying in the PICU, is still not fully understood. Further research into this topic is needed.

Here are some tips from The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia on helping your children cope with their sibling’s critical illness:

• Keep normal routines as much as possible
• Set normal limits and expectations for siblings behavior
• Give age appropriate information and answer questions the sibling has about their brother or sister’s illness. Ask your child’s nurse or doctor for ideas on how to approach this.
• Spend time with your children who are not ill.
• Encourage your children to share their feelings and concerns with you.
• Give siblings an opportunity to feel involved and participate in caring for their ill brother or sister.
• Encourage siblings to have fun
• Seek help if your other children are struggling with stress or anxiety, or have sudden problems in school or with sleeping.