For Siblings

It is NOT your fault that your brother or sister is sick.
Having a brother or sister spend time in the hospital is scary. Many siblings of sick children feel different after their brother or sister comes home from the hospital.

These are a few of the ways that kids say they feel when their brother or sister is very sick and in the hospital:
• Scared
• Worried about their brother or sister
• Afraid about their own health
• Less important to their parents/guardians
• Lonely
• Guilty
• Jealous of their sick brother or sister

Having strong feelings after your brother or sister has been very sick is really common. If you are stressed about the way you feeling, or if you feel this way for many weeks after your brother or sister returns from the hospital, talk to someone you trust. This can be a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend, or whoever you think can help make you feel better.

It is important to remember:
  • It is NOT your fault that your brother or sister is sick.
  • It is OK to feel scared, angry, or worried when a family member is sick.
  • It is OK to have lots of questions about your brother or sister’s health and your own health- ask your parents, teachers, or your sibling’s doctor or nurse when you have a question.
  • It is OK to tell your parents if you feel like you are not getting enough attention from them.
  • It is OK to still want to have fun with your friends and follow your normal routine. In fact, doing these things might help you feel better.
  • Having a sick child can be very stressful for your parents. They might ask for your help in caring for your brother or sister.
  • It is going to take time for your whole family to adjust to being back at home.

Some things you can do to help yourself feel better:
  • Try and keep a normal routine- keep going to sports or music lessons, anything that you would normally do before your sibling got sick.
  • Continue to have fun- see your friends, go to a movie, see other family members.
  • Ask to help your parents what you can do to help out- play a game with your sibling so your parents can do something else, help make dinner, help clean a room, or help your sibling learn something new.
  • Talk about your feelings, let people know how you feel and what you need. Do you need to see your parents more? Do you feel angry or scared? Do you want some alone time? Let your family, friends, teachers, and doctor know how you feel and what you need.

For more information on coping with your brother or sister’s illness, visit The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia healthcare toolbox  here.

The information provided on this website is not meant to diagnose or treat any mental or physical health condition. You should always consult your child’s pediatrician to develop the best care plan for your child. If you feel that your child or anyone in your family is having trouble coping after a critical illness contact your doctor right away.